There’s a difference between being a depressed man and a depressed woman. It’s just easier for a woman to fall into a relationship that can support her. I don’t like making generalizations across sex divisions or racial lines but I’m doing it. Falling into a convenient relationship also causes things like murder and beatings. I get that. That’s not my point.
I’m talking about like serious, crippling depression. For the time being, I’m talking about that.
It’s more likely a woman will be coddled, soothed, expected to be an uncontrollable heap of emotions. Not really a thrilling prospect. But the reverse sucks too. “Quit feeling sorry for yourself.” “Done with the pity party?” “Pick yourself up.” I don’t doubt women have heard those things. They seem less abusive, I guess, when directed at a man. I can personally envision those statements as well-meaning pep talks.
Men are strong. We’re in control. We’re like hunter-providers, hamstrung by a society that won’t let us eat the flesh of our vanquished enemies. Except when we aren’t. Then we’re weak failures. We’re mockeries of all that is manhood. Which is a flimsy concept by itself, but, you know, entrenched gender roles.
Men aren’t fundamentally strong. Women aren’t universal care givers. There needs to be a greater general understanding of what it means to be human that cuts across any line no matter how basic, like our silly parts.
There’s an intrinsic need we feel in socialization of children to divide along lines that are biologically obvious. It cuts both genders. I don’t even know that it’s rooted in society, kids just seem very shitty. A weak boy is a pussy. A faggot, the equivalent of being a woman in the eyes of a lot of macho guys and also seven year olds searching for an insult. A boy who shows weakness isn’t a boy.
A driven woman is uppity. Conniving. Scheming. She’s a cunt, nothing more than her sex organ. Sorry, it’s hard to find examples of being called a man used in an insult. Kinda weak example of parallel insults on my part. A woman who exerts herself into a strength position reserved for men is torn down in equal and opposite measure.
Have no expectations. Don’t look at anyone and expect anything. That may seem pessimistic but I think it’s a very pure extension of judge not lest you be judged.